Category Archives: rant

An Unexpected Turn, and the Frustration with Contacting Professors

Well, the job is going swellily. We get quite a bit time off inbetween jobs, and I’m just ending my second week off. I’m finding it kinda hard to stay entertained, and yet keeping an eye out for a source of income that would help me stay home more often than not. Mostly just something I could do in-between jobs. I still keep hoping I can make a small living off of video games, but try as I might, that remains to be seen.

Anywho, the ol’ boyfriend up and decided that he wants to get out of the military and go to the University of Wyoming. Which is FANTASIC news, in a way. I’m a bit tired of being told where to go – it gets exhausting pretending to like an area that isn’t up your alley.

If we follow through with this, I will be over the moon. UWyo is my top choice for grad school. I love Wyoming, they have a fantastic geophysics department, and one of the professors research is exactly what I’m interested in. The problem is, I can’t get him to respond to my emails. I’ve only sent 3, and they’ve been spaced out enough to not feel like they were bombarding him, but just friendly reminders like “Hey! I know you’re busy, but just in case you meant to get back to me and forgot, I’m still here!” (Not in those exact words, but that’s what I was aiming for.)  We are planning a trip to the University next month, and it’s driving me up the wall that the professor hasn’t gotten back to me. I want to know if he’ll be available any time in June, because I will make sure I’m there the same time he is so he can at least see my face and possibility remember me.

Then there’s the possibility that we move there, and I don’t get into the grad program. Then what? I don’t know if I should talk to other professors in different areas of study and hope I find one that sticks just to attend the university, but I feel like that’s what’s going to happen if I don’t get ahold of the guy I’d rather work with.

The last email I sent was two weeks ago now, explaining that I will be at the University in June, driving all the way from Michigan just to see the department, and I would like to know if he’s going to be around. I also said this is the last email I’m sending before I attempt to call your office. I have no idea if this is the acceptable thing to do or not. I don’t know if I should call the department office first and get the skinny. Maybe the guy is in the hospital? But I feel I could have found that information somewhere on the internet. Trust me, I google-fu’d the hell out of this guy.

I figure I would wait a week or two after graduation so that he can get the break I no doubt he needs, and possibly be more receptive to talking. I’m probably stressing out too much about this, because grad school wouldn’t even happen until Fall 2017. I also have no idea how far ahead I should be trying schmoozle. I do know that I’ll be actually studying for the GRE this time.

Well….thanks for reading, guys. I know I don’t update that often, but thanks for sticking with me. Any advice would be appreciated.




Pet Peeve’s

We all have them. Some are more irrational than others. Some you have no idea where or why something like that could bother someone like you.

For some reason, my pet peeve’s have been popping up all over the place. Okay, well not all over the place. I don’t have that many.

My first, and main one, is leaving a wet sponge/rag/absorbent dish-washing device in the sink. Disgusting. I won’t touch it, and I won’t do the dishes. At least, not without gagging. It’s wet, and mold and bacteria grow on it. A lot. Just wring it out when you’re done and let it air dry or pop it  in the microwave for a few seconds to kill the germs. Too easy.

The second – people who see things in black and white. People who are perfectly okay with accepting the easiest or least complicated answer. People who think or say, “Well, that’s just how it is.” I’ve spent my whole life learning how things are never as simple as they seem. The people who will actually argue with another person about “how things are” are the absolute worst.  Nothing aggravates me more. It’s *never* that simple. Ever! And they should know that, because they’re human! And have experiences! People have experiences, right? Like, their whole lives? They experience things not going their way, or things being more complicated than they once thought? Do they really not self-reflect and do they really not think about how things happen? Work? REALLY?

It’s also not as simple as them just thinking it’s simple, I guess.

Whatevs. <—(somebody’s pet peeve, somewhere)


Why I Need to Travel

Oh hello procrastination. I see you’ve come to visit again.

So there is something I just cannot get out of my head. I have some of the worst wanderlust, and I feel so limited in ways to get it out of my system. I’ve always had wanderlust as long ago as I can remember. For a while there, it was scared out of me, thanks to my parents’ paranoia. You know, the usual “someone will inevitability kidnap you, rape you, and then kill you” if you go too far from home. But I got over that by the time I got out of high school. I had a hard time believing it when there were so many other people that were traveling unharmed.

Our department had a foreign exchange student from Australia who I became close friends with over the semester she was here. She truly inspired me to follow my wanderlust. She had been all over the world, and mostly by herself. She has all kinds of stories, all positive, and can only recount two sketchy instances in traveling. Her entire life she’s traveled, and she’s just fine.

After field camp this summer, I went on a road trip from Nevada, to Utah, to Colorado, to Wyoming, and back home again. All by myself. It was incredibly liberating, and self-encouraging in a way. The only planning I made before hand was to just do it. For the entire two week trip, I was only ever by myself once. It was incredible how many friends are willing to open up their homes to you and ask nothing in return. I did a lot of camping, which I enjoyed the most. I went on this trip to meet up with my Aussie friend in Yellowstone before she left back to Australia. I did it to tell her that she inspired me to just do it, and she was incredibly proud, and I was incredibly happy. It was the kind of happy I’ll never experience until I’m traveling again, I’m almost certain.

The more I think about why I truly want to travel, I remember my grandpa. My grandpa was the one true love of my life. I looked up to him in every way. He taught me how to do just about everything I know how to do because he was one of the few people in my family who didn’t think I was limited just because I was a girl. I remember, specifically, the one instance that tears me apart. I was living with him and my grandma at the time, partly because they lived so close to the high school, and partly because I wasn’t getting along with my parents. I loved living there, I never hated it, we never argued, and I had so much respect for my grandpa. He was the coolest person ever. He had tattoos. He lied about his age to join the Navy at 15 years old. He was open about his trouble making past, and how fun it was, and how he was  most definitely not a felon *wink wink*. He was a hard man. My mom and aunt tell me how jealous they were for how he was with me. They tell me he was mean when they  were growing up and how good I had it with him, and yet he would threaten my dad’s life for trying to spank me! I love my grandpa dearly. And now I am distracted with my favorite memories…but to the one that gets to me.

After my grandpa was diagnosed with cancer, which he knew he had but refused to go to the doctor over it because he was not weak (his words). He got pretty depressed there for a while, and of course I wanted to do everything I could to make it better. He told me he wanted to travel the world, and was there a way he could do that on the computer. Google Earth had just come out, and I was excited to let him see the world. The problem was, he had never used a computer before, and I had never taught anyone how to use to one. I tried to teach him, but we both lost patience with each other. He was aggravated that he couldn’t figure it out, and I was aggravated that he was learning too slow.This was the first time he ever snapped at me, and I know that he made a conscious decision then and there to never touch a computer again, all because he snapped at me, and all because I did not have the patience.

This isn’t something I realized at the time, only until later after his death – that I still cannot accept. I have so much guilt, I feel that I robbed him of an experience that he more than deserved to have. Ever since I realized my feelings about this, I have been promising myself to go see things, because I don’t want to be an 80 year old lady who can’t do more than look at the world from my computer screen. And who knows, maybe it’ll be from a contraption that I won’t understand, and I’ll get aggravated and say “if only I just did it back when I was able…”

I miss my grandpa dearly. Even though he is gone, he is still somehow my rock. He is my reference for what I need to do when I am not sure. One of my true regrets is not telling him that he meant so much to me. I’m sure he knew, but I don’t know that he knew I loved him so much, or exactly what he meant to me.

When I see him again, I don’t want it to be empty handed.

Sorry for the sad story.


I hate well-rounded education.

Did I ever tell you how much I hate “well-rounded education”? Whoever decided I should be forced to learn about things I don’t care about was probably kidnapped by the Illuminati, tied to a chair and had their eyes taped open and forced to watch things that had no relevancy to their lives at all and then LIKED IT. I use this analogy because that’s how I feel when I attend a gen-ed class. Every general ed class, even upper division, is just bullshitting your way through it.  Granted it’s only been a week in my Anthropology of Religion and my Changing Family (sociology) classes. But I can tell you it’s exactly how I imaged it would go. (I was wrong about my Soc professor though. She’s way cooler than she let on the first day of class. )

For my 300 level Anthro of Religions class, it’s exactly  the same as my 100 level religions class I took in Community College, only now I get to use bigger words and bash Christianity in a community-like forum. I have a plan already just based on what questions she’s asked us to respond to. One of them was “Discuss the relationship between religion and culture among the Hopi and contrast this with your own cultural experience.” I’ll let you on a little secret – I love American Indian culture. I love their religion and specifically the Hopi. I so wish I had grown up in an environment (as far as beliefs and how hard working they are) that was even remotely similar to theirs. Other than an interest, I have zero relations with their culture or religion. But I can’t actually say that, because that’s not what the professor is looking for. I get “points” for making up some bullshit story about how I TOTALLY relate to these people in some round-about way. If I were Hopi I would probably be  offended at what some of the people have said so far. We were told to watch one video and you can tell nobody watched more ( based their answers ) than the first 10 minutes. OH yeah..back to the plan. So here’s how I’m going to do it. I’m  gong to keep bullshitting my way through the class (like I always have in classes like these) and by the time finals roll around I’m going to talk about how my view has completely changed and how I was honestly thinking how much I was going to dislike learning about this subject or was thinking about dropping the class because it was just “too much”(I’ll think of something better than that) but I stuck it through and I’m really glad I did because now I can go out into the world with a much more open mind! And it’s going to be the same story in my Sociology Class.

The only things I’ve never bullshitted my way through are the science classes. That’s why I like them. I can’t bullshit math. I can’t bullshit chemistry.  You can KINDA bullshit geology, but you better have good evidence or your theory. They force you to think and exercise your brain,  and not your bullshit. Thank you for that, science!

So what the fuck am I supposed to take out from these other classes? I have not become any more or less culturally sensitive, I don’t remember fuckshit from any of these classes EVER, and don’t tell me it’s so I can be exposed to something I may not have ever taken. Because that’s why I’m upset in the first place. I don’t WANT to take these classes. The fact that I HAVE TO makes me hate them more. What I am learning in 5 months I could have googled and thought  about while I was showering and come back with the same level of interest/education/change of opinion. What I did take away, though? A couple thousand dollars more in debt, and then lost a few years of working and being a contributing person to society.


Okay, I have procrastinated enough. I’m going to go read about Chem for FUN and read ahead for my Calc II class because I suck at math, but at least I have to pay attention or take it three more times. Ugh..